I freaking hate daycare.
I get they have a responsibility to all the children who are there, and I get that’s it’s not acceptable that my son bit his sister (granted, given where she was bitten, I’m sure she was clothes-lining him, so she may have deserved it). But to say, “All the parents are concerned about having C in class with their children” goes too far. It goes right along with, “He’s a liability” and “It’s your fault for not bringing in the “I am working for” boards and the smiley face charts.”
I take issue with this. First, the one chance I got to make these boards–today–is the day they called me to come and pick him up. I explained to C’s teacher yesterday that I would be working on the boards today. Second, it’s not like making these boards takes ten minutes: it’s closer to ten hours to make all the things they said they wanted. When I explained this to them, the director said, “It’s been three weeks. You have to make your son a priority. He can’t return until we have the boards in place.”
The fact that it took them over a week to get me a schedule they already had printed apparently isn’t an issue. That’s OK. My not making a bunch of stuff for my son so that they have an easier time dealing with his behaviors (crap we really don’t see at home) is apparently cause for a lynching.
They want the smiley face charts, the schedule, the “I am working for boards” printed, laminated and velcroed (at my expense, of course, despite the fact that I pay them quite a pretty penny to watch him) before he can come back, and I’m supposed to drag a sick three year old around with me while I do it? The problem is, I’ll go through all of this work to make things happen for C and they’ll kick him out all the same. Because, as the director told me, “We have to give him three weeks with the new system before we can take any additional steps against him.” I could say, “Neener, neener” and take everything I made with me but that just seems childish.
I know he has a bad streak in him (though I never got one–not one–complaint of him hitting or biting at his old school), but he’s not a criminal. Additional steps against him? Are we going forth with legal proceedings against my three year old? And what, I’m guilty of neglect because I didn’t make a bunch of boards I said I would because my life got in the way? Is that the way of it? The kid is fed, loved, read to every night, and comes to school clean every day. I could spend all of my free time with him making story boards and crap for him to take to school and basically ignoring him, or I could spend it with him BEING HIS MOM. Weird, I chose to be his mom rather than a speech pathologist working on behaviors. I chose to spend time with my kids, at the expense of effort on daycare’s behalf.
I want to quit my job and stay home. I’d do just that, but I somehow have to pay bills, and we can’t do that if I’m unemployed. Until I make my fortune as a novelist, I’m thinking staying home is not an option.
My poor boy.
The thing is, he’s good at home. Easy to get along with, happy. The occasional temper tantrum, but then, he’s three, and I don’t think they’re bad ones (after all, I cut my teeth on his sister’s tantrums). I very rarely have had to do the walk of shame out of the Home Depot (or supermarket or Costco) with him. That’s not to say I haven’t, but it’s less often than I had to when his sister was that age, and now, her teachers label her as pretty much perfect.
I realize that this, too, shall pass. Really. It passed with his sister, after all.