Vampires v. Zombies


Yep, you heard me. Crap.

Every time I go on line to write this blog, I wind up kvetching about how crappy my synopsis is (and it is, but I hope it’s getting better), or how I now have to revise again to take out semicolons. Or how my son managed to get his tiny rear end kicked out of preschool.

So, because I’m sick of bitching, I’m bringing up a topic: Vampires vs. Zombies. Discuss.

Girls like the vamps because it’s all about sex.

Yes, girls really do like sex. Just look at the sales of romance novels and tell me we don’t.

Think about it: Pulling in the girl to bite her on the neck (if you’re going to be less basely sexual, you’d just bite her wrist and be done with it, but no, they almost always go for the neck). The penetration of the bite. The exchange of body fluids. The seduction of  the whole thing. And then there’s the bad boy aspect.

The soulless bad boy we all want to tame or redeem, however you want to look at it. The solitary hunter who belongs solely to you, because you were the one who tamed the untameable, who stole his heart. One could think of it as falling for James Dean (or the attractive, bad-boy loner of your choice) over and over, only this bad boy has fangs (but, the bright side, while he may kill you and/or steal your soul, he won’t get you pregnant). Indeed, most vampires are attractive (I’ll give you that Nosferatu wasn’t, but most of them are–more seductive in their hunting than simply vile). And while I have always stayed away from the bad boys, I can’t deny they’ve got a certain allure, which is probably why I like the vamps. The only thing off-putting about them is the whole dead thing, but hey, we’ve all got our failings.

So now I will shake myself out of my vampire-induced reverie and move on to zombies.

Now, I will fully admit to a certain lack of objectivity on this subject. I’m not a big fan of the zombies. They’re mindless, kinda moany (but not in a good way), herdlike creatures, and Night of the Living Dead gave me nightmares for weeks. But the husband loves them. For him, it’s all about the mayhem and the carnage and guilt-free killing (I think). I admit I liked World War Z and the idea of the new show on AMC. But I think that’s because it’s less about the zombies and the horror than it is about the human trials and the relationships between the characters. I could care less about whether every character does the smart thing, as long as you feel for them. I like a certain element of seduction in my horror movies, and I’m not just talking about sex (though I’m not opposed to that). I want to be seduced into liking (or disliking) these characters, I want to sympathize with them, I want to feel their pain. I want human relationships developed, because I’d like to think, if the world did devolve into chaos and the dead rose from the grave, we humans would band together and help one another, forming deep, meaningful relationships with one another in the face of such madness. 

I’d like to think that’s what mankind would do, anyway. In case of zombiegeddon (or zombiepocalypse, whichever term you prefer), my plan is to be dead, so y’all have fun with that.

In any case, I can see how it would be harder to fight against vampires, especially if they’re beautiful–they’re intelligent and they can talk to you, and being attractive never hurt. Zombies give us a common enemy to fight against; if vampires came about, I’m sure there would be more than a few humans who would side with them, just because they’re pretty. Because, let’s face it, people are weird.

Hm. I almost want to write about zombies now, just to write about the human element.


Because I still love the vamps.



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