I have a friend who recently grew a mustache.
I want to tell him its killer, because I think he looks like some 70s porno king, but I’m afraid he’ll take the phrase ’70s porno king’ the wrong way.
It’s a good ‘stache, really, and I suppose it’s not too terribly 70s… It actually looks very much like a cop ‘stache, a look with which I am very familiar. But in certain circles, saying, “Oh, you’re rocking the cop ‘stache” doesn’t come across any better than “I like the killer 70s porno ‘stache.” In some cases, it’s far better to have one’s facial hair compared to a two-bit porn actor’s than it is to be compared to a cop.
As I read the previous sentences, I have to laugh, because I’m acting like I know the first thing about 70s porn. I do not. Actually, I know very little about porn in general, unless you count the romance novels I read, which I generally do not.
In any case, I want to tell him I like the newfound facial hair–for some reason, it suits him. I get it’s not a look for everyone, but I have a soft spot for hairy guys. But even my saying, “I like the mustache” comes across as snotty. The last time I said that to anyone other than my husband, the poor man took offense and shaved it off the next day… (Weirdly, I think I take less offense at those same words than he did)
So, in the interest of preserving someone’s feelings, I will keep my opinions to myself.
But keep rocking the ‘stache, my friend. It’s killer.
There's a Bee in my Bodice 