I haven’t slept very well for over a week now, and thus, my filter–you know, the little voice that screams, “For the love of all that’s holy, SHUT UP!” every so often–has turned off.
I’ve banished myself to the office on those rare occasions that I’m not seeing kids or in meetings, because the stuff that’s coming out of my mouth is just stupid. It seems OK in my head, and then I hear it, and I’m like, “Holy Mother of God, what is wrong with me?” And the sad thing is, once it’s out there, I then feel the need to try to explain, which just makes everything worse.
I need to just (re)-learn the art of shutting up. But, since it doesn’t look like that’s happening, I’m putting myself into a self-imposed time out. It could be that I’m being way too sensitive. It could be that I don’t sound as much like a jackass as I think I do.
What might also be true–what I’m afraid is true–is that it’s worse than I think it is.
Thus, the time out. And with a little training, and a little sleep, I should regain my social skills in no time.