As the weather gets warmer…

My neighbor has come out of hiding.

I know summer has arrived, because my neighbor down the road has been spotted after the long winter and the cold, dreary spring. It’s almost like seeing Santa or the Easter Bunny. We see him and go, “Oh, look look look! There he is!”

Because we know it’s summer when my elderly, overweight neighbor is spotted in his (oh-so-tight) leopard print speedo and hiking boots, stomping around on the Astroturf in his front yard.

Yes, you read that right. Leopard print. Speedo. Hiking boots. Beer belly. So, so awesome.

I wish I had the guts to wear something like that. One day, when I’m old and saggier, I’m going to get myself a leopard print bikini and wear it in my front yard for no reason. I swear I will.

Until then, I will continue to place as many layers between my butt and the world as humanly possible. Because no one needs to see that.

But a leopard print speedo? Rock on, my good man. Rock. On.


3 thoughts on “As the weather gets warmer…”

  1. Oh, wow. You need pictures of that. Except I’d be scared to look, but still: that’s got to be some creepy-ass paraphilia he’s got going on!

  2. I can’t even begin to describe the many levels of awesome that go into this image. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a smaller speedo, even when I was in Europe and questioning whether one particular gentleman was even WEARING a swimsuit. I love this man. I think he might be insane, and I’d never let him watch the children, but he is SO entertaining to view from afar. 🙂

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