1. I hate mice. I think they’re vile little creatures. I’m so phobic that, in fifth grade, for Fun Friday, I refused to watch the movie The Secret of Nimh because just watching the movie made me so upset I felt nauseous. I’m not a huge fan of snakes, either, but I could hold myself together just long enough to appease my fifth grade teacher. That being said, when he went to feed the thing, I passed out cold. I guess I “got the vapors.” Yes, you may call me Scarlett.

2. I’m not a big fan of cows (or bulls), either. While a rodent phobia is actually fairly understandable, a fear of cows just seems to leave people scratching their heads. Yes, I know it doesn’t make sense. But they’re big, and they stampede. Besides, I’ve seen pictures from Pamplona. No way I’m doing that crap. Seriously. That’s insane.

3. I’m allergic to lots of things, but my allergies periodically change. At 19, I was diagnosed with an allergy to dogs and cats. I refused to believe it, and kept my dog. Now, I am no longer allergic to either, but I’m allergic to eggs and beef (and the wings of winged insects). Go figure.

4. I believe pets should only have old people names. I don’t know why, but I have a thing for old sounding names. My first dog was Hank. My cat is Josephine. This dog is Francis (Ignacio della Vega), mostly because I thought it would be funny to yell “Francis! Come!” to a dog who looks like he would eat your liver for breakfast.
5. I have a fondness for some really horrible names. Chewey just barely dodged a bullet with his middle name. No, no, I mean it. I even knew it was heinous, but I freaking love the name Angus (and Fergus and Seamus). I know it sounds like I’m naming him after a side of beef (which, despite my allergy and my general loathing for all things bovine, I really did used to like). I get it. Still, it’s a great name. Luckily for Chewey, I got distracted by this man.
- Wyatt Earp