First, my thanks to Jannine Gallant for pointing out that March 18 is actually Awkward Moments Day!
See, I think this is a day meant for me. Named for me. A day in celebration of…me!
See, I am very familiar with awkward moments. That moment when you tell a joke and all you hear is crickets? Yeah, I’ve been there, done that. Many times.
I broke my nose slow dancing at my senior prom. I asked a guy out once and got turned down with the excuse, “I’m gay.” (Super awkward) I stood on my skirt in a shuttle crowded with football players, and the skirt hit the floor, leaving me standing there in nothing but my underwear and my cute boots.
I got stuck in a bounce house at my daughter’s second birthday party and I was eight months pregnant with my son. Getting out was like a bounce house giving birth to a beluga. I accidentally texted my boss with “I love you so much,” which was intended for my husband. The last time I went to the ER, my doctor was a man I went to high school with, and I threw up on him. Later that same night, after the drugs had kicked in, I made an outrageous, suggestive comment I thought was HI-larious that was really just crass. (Okay, I still think the comment was funny, but even I recognize the bad form in saying it to someone I haven’t seen in eighteen years)
That’s not so bad, except that I’ve run into him three times since then (after not seeing him for eighteen years, I run into him three times in six months? WTF, universe?). Each time is another awkward moment, as I pretend I don’t remember precisely what I said to him that night.
Yeah, my life is a series of those kind of awkward moments.
So today, as you nurse your post St. Paddy’s Day hangovers, partake of a little of the hair of the dog, and raise a pint in honor of me. After all, this is my day.
Happy Awkward Moments Day!